Sometimes we are tempted to stay away from God’s Word when we are confused about an aspect of the character of God.
I experienced that this week. I have been really uwrestling with a difficult relationship and not understanding how God is working through it. On top of that I was reading difficult passages in Numbers and struggling to reconcile what I was seeing about God’s character and my present circumstances.
One morning I woke up early to read but found myself tempted not to do it. I was tempted to think it would only add to my confusion. And increase the questions in my heart. But I didn’t want more questions. I wanted answers.
I am so thankful the Spirit worked a greater thirst to be with God and took me to his word. As I read more about who the Lord is, he impressed on my heart how radically important it is for me to feed on God’s word precisely in times of confusion.
Yes it’s true. In God’s word, we encounter a God that exists in dimensions my brain cannot understand. He is eternal. He is a Spirit. He exists outside of time. He is a Trinity.
When I go to his Word, questions do multiply. But God’s Word works in such miraculous way in the believing heart, that those questions actually feed my faith.
It is precisely because I don’t fully understand the Lord that I need to draw near to God in his word, because His word feeds my humility. Pride is antithetical to faith. It is humility that keeps me trusting a God I cannot see but who is fully trustworthy.
So even when I can’t fit the Eternal God inside my limited brain – even when He hasn’t revealed what He is doing specifically in certain circumstances, and even when I have questions about the way He worked in certain situations in the Old Testament, and I feel a little lost in knowing what something means and how it impacts my present struggles– He has revealed enough in His word so that I can say with joy and confidence and deep gratefulness, “I know God.”
Because it is also in his word that I read the revelation that God Himself gives us – “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34: 6).
It is in his word that he tells me:
His wisdom is so much higher than my microscopic intellect (Romans 11: 33-36).
He is good and does good (Psalm 119: 68).
His steadfast love is abundant (Numbers 14: 18).
He draws near His people (Deuteronomy 4: 7).
He is always working to accomplish his purposes (Ephesians 1: 21; Romans 8: 28-29).
So friend, let’s keep coming to the Word – especially in confusing seasons. Let’s come in faith and ask him to enable us to keep walking by faith. He will surely do it.