Our kids souls’ (like ours) have a shape. Many circumstances and people shape their soul but no other human shapes their soul and their ability to know they are always & completely loved by God than us as their parents. I am eternally grateful though that the Spirit can supernaturally reveal this reality to them even as we fail.
So trusting him & empowered by him, I endeavor to communicate the Father’s love in 3 ways. Today I will focus on the first one:
Practice curiousity. Our kids are not our clones. Being curious about them (and staying curious as they grow up) honors both our kids and the Lord who made them so fearfully & carefully.
By paying attention to our kids we are giving them the gift of being truly & deeply known by us. It is the gift God gave us that shows we are his children and heirs, no longer slaves (Galatians 4:8-9).
I want to be slow to speak, and quick to listen. And sometimes listening means listening to what they are saying with their whole being: with their words and also their body.
I want these observations to be non-evaluative & non judgemental (this is who they should be, they shouldn’t feel this way). The goal at this stage is deeper understanding, not necessarily correction. I want to always be a humble student of my kids -aware that as they grow up they are always becoming someone else that I get to know.
These are some of the questions I pay attention to:
- What makes them really happy?
- What makes them really sad?
- What is their favorite kind of day? Why?
- What makes them thrive?
- What seems to sap energy from them?
- How do they learn best?
- How does s/he cope with disappointment? Anger?
- What situations typically trigger fear (maybe even panic?)
- What kind of people is she drawn to?
- When does s/he have more energy?
Let’s encourage each other. How do you stay curious about your kids? What are some questions you ask yourself to get to know them better?