On the Whole Brain and Safety with God

Photo by Hayley Murray on Unsplash One early morning a few months ago, I woke up, and even before I opened my eyes, I felt it. I felt the oppression of perfectionism. And friend, I confused it with God’s voice. I felt paralyzed. It was hard to think about getting out of bed to meetContinue reading “On the Whole Brain and Safety with God”

On What Produces Sound Feeling, Thinking and Living

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash I read recently in a book by an author I admire and love a sentence that made me stop and think: “Sound theology produces sound thinking and living.” As someone who is a closet theologian, I understand the heart behind a statement like this one.  Yet I have livedContinue reading “On What Produces Sound Feeling, Thinking and Living”

On How Union with Christ is Saving my Life

I often say that union with Christ is saving my life. But I don’t often share how. On this post I finally get to this. After decades of experiencing religious OCD, anxiety and fear in my relationship with the Lord, I came to a significant turning point. If you remember, when I went through deepContinue reading “On How Union with Christ is Saving my Life”

A Story of God’s Nearness in Anxiety, PPD & Religious OCD, part III

Soaking in the goodness of the gospel, I started dating my husband. He too had grown up in a similar spiritual community to mine, and he too, through other ways, had been awakened to the gospel in his mid-twenties. Together we rejoiced in all the ways the gospel was changing everything for us. Still, IContinue reading “A Story of God’s Nearness in Anxiety, PPD & Religious OCD, part III”

A Story of God’s Nearness in Religious OCD, part II

It has been 15 years since the Lord started me on this journey of knowing his nearness and consistent rescue when fear runs amok, and anxiety attempts to overwhelm. I really don’t want to downplay the role that therapists and counselors have in helping with mental health disorders like OCD or religious OCD (I haveContinue reading “A Story of God’s Nearness in Religious OCD, part II”

A Story of God’s Nearness in Religious OCD – part I

In my childhood and teen years I developed a disorder that involves persistent or sticky thoughts about morality and religiosity. It is driven by intense anxiety and fear in our relationship with God and moves us to engage in compulsive behaviors to calm the anxiety. This is called scrupulosity or religious OCD. It is aContinue reading “A Story of God’s Nearness in Religious OCD – part I”

For the mama fighting shame on Mother’s Day

Dear mama, are you fighting shame today?  Shame… …in knowing all the ways you’ve sinned against your kids & failed in parenting?  …in the sting of the brokenness you feel in motherhood that seems to be affirmed by the lack of appreciation from your kids? …in the insecurity that comes from remembering childhood hurt &Continue reading “For the mama fighting shame on Mother’s Day”

What I Learned from Paying Attention to the Birds

It has been a season where I have been tasting paradox so tangibly. Feeling displaced and yet also rooted more deeply in Christ. Being shaken in my faith just to see how, in Christ, I am always standing in grace. Being really limited by circumstances but also freed up to have margin for the things that matter most.Continue reading “What I Learned from Paying Attention to the Birds”